nothing but battered* / 6:16 PM

As far as i could remembered , i really have not been sleeping well..since the day i felt sick and the day fear begin to set in..last wednesday.I didn't really know the reason behind why i couldn't sleep at night.. no. maybe i knew.I really wish it was because of the bad cough or burning fever .But somehow i 've got the feeling i am waiting all along just to see that there's a reply from love.I feared that if i fell asleep.. love will slowly find his way out of the world that i have built around him and let go..But i know it doesn't mean he wouldn't leave even though i was awake.. but it just makes me feel better. at least.

If i wasn't coughing and trying to overthrow my lungs every night or tossing around in my bed every few hours battling with the hot and cold signs of my body.Otherwise i would be dazing into nothing before my eyes eventually closed themselves.The tearstained pillow is the evidence that kept me clear of reality and illusion.I wake up to every message tone..only hoping it was from love.I've never felt this frightened ,it seems 100000000 times more aghast than the worst nightmare i ever had..

every single day , it seems like the usual rountine.. and today i woke up just to realise i have not catch a wink last night and exactly for any other nights that went by.I woke up at least 4 times..the last time i woke up was 5am.. when i realised that in another 20 minutes i would have to prepare for work.I look haggard and i don't like the look that showed up in the mirror.I try to avoid the mirror most of the days unless there's a need to prep my face.

Work wasn't that good,there were so many people around that i had to face.Customers, crews and my colleagues but my sickness helped me covered up at least half of my expressions.I tried my best to be professional.My body was there but most of what i did only look functional. My mind wanders of most of the time when there was nothing to keep me busy.. I constrict my mind within a place for solace.

and we are going to solve this..i don't want to stay stationary in this cycle anymore..

i need to go lie down now..

Finally eighteen although i do not look my age .I am a miniature machine gun.can be real noisy and high at times.more to outdoors.

I am currently studying in Republic Poly and don't ask me why i ended up here.but afterall i have meet some great and fun friends here :) at times i look at my horoscope and decide on how i should spend my day.I may view situations in complex thinking and a thousand possible outcomes.
I feel short but i don't mind people disturbing me as long as it makes them happy haha.but still of course i still want to grow taller if you have any elixir please recommend to me .

Yeah one thing i dislike it when people take unnecessary plastic bags , please save the world and yourself by taking less of these and especially wooden chopsticks!!I like to observe people,just to study their behaviour to predict their next move :) but i am not psychotic !I just wish i could take up psychology
I am beginning to see this world to the best of my ability.
I am really trying to look at the bright side.


I truly like ballet,and somehow i always wish i could dance again but i know i can't afford to do that.
I like reading novels , so far the best must have been "The notebook ,Dear John and Where rainbows end" particularly from Nicholas Sparks and Cecelia Ahern.
for your information i really like eating cakes, those with heavy toppings of cream yum yum :p it has been rather long since i had them really often.

I can really laugh over the slightest thing when my laugh-o-meter goes extremely high .No need to describe how I am a really clumsy person and i trip over the weirdest things..




there's alot of things which i wish i could do , i wanna go up and float around on the hot air balloon and fly somewhere far for awhile

see you there at Bahamas!!

nothing but battered* / 6:16 PM

As far as i could remembered , i really have not been sleeping well..since the day i felt sick and the day fear begin to set in..last wednesday.I didn't really know the reason behind why i couldn't sleep at night.. no. maybe i knew.I really wish it was because of the bad cough or burning fever .But somehow i 've got the feeling i am waiting all along just to see that there's a reply from love.I feared that if i fell asleep.. love will slowly find his way out of the world that i have built around him and let go..But i know it doesn't mean he wouldn't leave even though i was awake.. but it just makes me feel better. at least.

If i wasn't coughing and trying to overthrow my lungs every night or tossing around in my bed every few hours battling with the hot and cold signs of my body.Otherwise i would be dazing into nothing before my eyes eventually closed themselves.The tearstained pillow is the evidence that kept me clear of reality and illusion.I wake up to every message tone..only hoping it was from love.I've never felt this frightened ,it seems 100000000 times more aghast than the worst nightmare i ever had..

every single day , it seems like the usual rountine.. and today i woke up just to realise i have not catch a wink last night and exactly for any other nights that went by.I woke up at least 4 times..the last time i woke up was 5am.. when i realised that in another 20 minutes i would have to prepare for work.I look haggard and i don't like the look that showed up in the mirror.I try to avoid the mirror most of the days unless there's a need to prep my face.

Work wasn't that good,there were so many people around that i had to face.Customers, crews and my colleagues but my sickness helped me covered up at least half of my expressions.I tried my best to be professional.My body was there but most of what i did only look functional. My mind wanders of most of the time when there was nothing to keep me busy.. I constrict my mind within a place for solace.

and we are going to solve this..i don't want to stay stationary in this cycle anymore..

i need to go lie down now..