:( own brewed concoction* / 4:38 AM

I just came home from Pasir Ris , went to three chalet.First was Jonathan at downtown east , the other was George's family gathering at Aranda country club and last was one of his friends one at coastal sands.Three different places and each brought me a different feeling.

It's 4am now,I had to cab home in the end and there goes 28 dollars.Half of me cling on to the fact that he said he would send me home but the other half of me hated that he drank and must not drive.When i saw how much you were enjoying with your friends i felt happy but i was questioned with the same sadness at the same time.I don't think i ever saw him laugh like that when he's with me.Maybe i should try harder.

It suddenly struck me on whether i prefer to see him smile or laugh.Or which was more important?

You turn me cold when you always ignore the things i said, and then come talking to me like nothing happen .

Nothing now hurts me more then to see you smoke ,is it that every guy that serve NS will start smoking?I never think this is a good way of socializing.I never like to hear that you said you only smoke in camp.I never like to see you smoking where ever you are .Because precisely you are smoking everyday and i wonder how many more additional reasons i am going to hear.

I always heard you telling others that when you get back your IC after NS ,you would stop your smoking career.But i know this is not a situation of hitting the brakes and a just a halt .Eventually after each brake you still start accelerating again and if only smoking was so easy to quit .

At this rate that you are going ,there would be no way of quitting at all.I don't think you ever felt for me especially when you light up the stick where i am in sight.

This wasn't the you i used to know ,the past which i saw was you trying to persuade me otherwise.It seems so wrong now, sometimes i wish seeing wasn't believing .

I can see where i am going despite all these ,4 more hours and i would be on my way to your house despite feeling like a loser and when i can't seem to blame anyone but me.And i can't seem to have the right to be angry because you never seem even to be bothered.

I am feeling giddy,my body's burning my tongue is dehydrated and i can even smell my own alcohol .I feel my stomach concocting jim beam , chivas , vodlka ...

Sorry seems to be the last word i ever want to hear.
Why was today such a big different feeling from yesterday?


Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears i cried
Is it too late to make it right?

Finally eighteen although i do not look my age .I am a miniature machine gun.can be real noisy and high at times.more to outdoors.

I am currently studying in Republic Poly and don't ask me why i ended up here.but afterall i have meet some great and fun friends here :) at times i look at my horoscope and decide on how i should spend my day.I may view situations in complex thinking and a thousand possible outcomes.
I feel short but i don't mind people disturbing me as long as it makes them happy haha.but still of course i still want to grow taller if you have any elixir please recommend to me .

Yeah one thing i dislike it when people take unnecessary plastic bags , please save the world and yourself by taking less of these and especially wooden chopsticks!!I like to observe people,just to study their behaviour to predict their next move :) but i am not psychotic !I just wish i could take up psychology
I am beginning to see this world to the best of my ability.
I am really trying to look at the bright side.


I truly like ballet,and somehow i always wish i could dance again but i know i can't afford to do that.
I like reading novels , so far the best must have been "The notebook ,Dear John and Where rainbows end" particularly from Nicholas Sparks and Cecelia Ahern.
for your information i really like eating cakes, those with heavy toppings of cream yum yum :p it has been rather long since i had them really often.

I can really laugh over the slightest thing when my laugh-o-meter goes extremely high .No need to describe how I am a really clumsy person and i trip over the weirdest things..




there's alot of things which i wish i could do , i wanna go up and float around on the hot air balloon and fly somewhere far for awhile

see you there at Bahamas!!

:( own brewed concoction* / 4:38 AM

I just came home from Pasir Ris , went to three chalet.First was Jonathan at downtown east , the other was George's family gathering at Aranda country club and last was one of his friends one at coastal sands.Three different places and each brought me a different feeling.

It's 4am now,I had to cab home in the end and there goes 28 dollars.Half of me cling on to the fact that he said he would send me home but the other half of me hated that he drank and must not drive.When i saw how much you were enjoying with your friends i felt happy but i was questioned with the same sadness at the same time.I don't think i ever saw him laugh like that when he's with me.Maybe i should try harder.

It suddenly struck me on whether i prefer to see him smile or laugh.Or which was more important?

You turn me cold when you always ignore the things i said, and then come talking to me like nothing happen .

Nothing now hurts me more then to see you smoke ,is it that every guy that serve NS will start smoking?I never think this is a good way of socializing.I never like to hear that you said you only smoke in camp.I never like to see you smoking where ever you are .Because precisely you are smoking everyday and i wonder how many more additional reasons i am going to hear.

I always heard you telling others that when you get back your IC after NS ,you would stop your smoking career.But i know this is not a situation of hitting the brakes and a just a halt .Eventually after each brake you still start accelerating again and if only smoking was so easy to quit .

At this rate that you are going ,there would be no way of quitting at all.I don't think you ever felt for me especially when you light up the stick where i am in sight.

This wasn't the you i used to know ,the past which i saw was you trying to persuade me otherwise.It seems so wrong now, sometimes i wish seeing wasn't believing .

I can see where i am going despite all these ,4 more hours and i would be on my way to your house despite feeling like a loser and when i can't seem to blame anyone but me.And i can't seem to have the right to be angry because you never seem even to be bothered.

I am feeling giddy,my body's burning my tongue is dehydrated and i can even smell my own alcohol .I feel my stomach concocting jim beam , chivas , vodlka ...

Sorry seems to be the last word i ever want to hear.
Why was today such a big different feeling from yesterday?


Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears i cried
Is it too late to make it right?